It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
