I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
