It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
