Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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