I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
