"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
