Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
