You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Randomize
