i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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