I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
