tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
