she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
