And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
