If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
