I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
