My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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