I don't think brook has ever known best
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
