Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
