the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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