Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
