I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
