ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
