You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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