Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
