carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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