WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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