I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
