Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
