Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
