if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
