I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
