I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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