I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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