I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
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