How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
