STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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