found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
false alarm, still single
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
