How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
