Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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