theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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