Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I need moral support for this bender
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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