all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
