evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
