I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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