She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
