It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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