I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Bring me that man meat
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
