I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
