I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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