This girl is more easily done than said...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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