Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
