Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize
