no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
