Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
